All hail the Jazz...

A friend of ours is getting married on the 10th of December this year. I was told to go down to Abule-Egba to pick up Aso-Ebi yesterday… yoruba people chai, we too like party. Okay o, I got to Abule-Egba around 12noon. I couldn’t just pick it up and leave now, so I decided to stay a little while. A little while, I said o, I ended up leaving there 3:30pm after rice (my favourite meal) one malta guiness and enough gist… I don’t like food now. Should I say I don’t want ni? *wink*
So I left there 3:30pm boarded a Bus to Oshodi . From Oshodi, I took one of those big long buses that take my Ikorodu route. If you know what I’m saying you’ll recognise a bus like this.

I boarded the bus before I knew what I was into. The stupid conductor decided to take people standing too. Chai! I suffer. The bus was overpacked. A woman standing leaned her fat butt on my shoulder, through out. When I push her a little, she’ll say “Aunty sorry” and then placed it on my shoulder again. Things became worse when we were stuck in heavy traffic…Hey! You go fear heat. To make the matter worse, there was a man selling what he called “Spiritual oil, Spiritual Handkercheif, Spiritual incense”…. Made by him. Na wa o. How far will people go to get money?

When we got to Anthony Bus stop, the conductor and driver decided to help a driver whose bus had broken down (Every day is for the driver, one day is for the bus). They decided to take all his passangers into our bus. “Jesus save me” That was all I could say. The passangers were shouting and yelling on top of their voice. All I could think of was “Why did I board this bus o?”
Back to the real story jare. So, the passangers of the other bus entered and then guess what happened…. The Bus just stopped working! After much ado, the Bus started moving in reverse motion. Haaaaa!!! Everybody started shouting again “ Ehhh, Kilode o?” People started making remarks like this
“Which kyn people enter this bus sef”
“Abeg driver chase this bad luck people comot o”
“ Iru awon wo lako yi o”
A yoruba woman kept on shouting “ Ati keran mero o” (meaning “there are beasts in human skin amongst us”).
It couldn’t be worse.
We managed to push them all out… every single one of them and then effortlessly, the bus started working again. Whoaaa!!!! This is the first time I’m witnessing something like this. It was far from a coincidence.
When the bus started working, the strange people started rushing towards our bus. Hhen! Come and see race. If you see the kyn race one man take reach front door from the back seat just to lock it. About 10 people including the conductor got to the door just to lock it up. It was something like a hollywood movie without slow motion and soundtrack.
No doubts, there was somebody among those people that was not clean. One man said in yoruba “ Haa! Ise ti eni yen gbe sara badt gan”. Choi! The Jazz the person carried was even too much for the bus.
Heres the part that intrigued me. Remember, I talked about an evangelist selling spiritual everything? The man was quite throughout the wahala. When we started moving, he said
“When you were all shouting, I was praying in my mind, telling God to make the Jazz person leave the bus. You people don’t have spiritual eyes, but I saw the person spiritually. The person was a woman. Buy this Spiritual Oil, use it to rub your face everyday and evil will not come near you”
Naija!….. Out of the wahala, this man still found a way to sell his products. Oga o.
Hmmmn! The journey to Ikorodu was filled with heavy traffic but at least nothing happened to the bus.
I got home and took a very long shower. And you know the rest of the story.